My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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