Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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