you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
