Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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