Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
