So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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