That's intense
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
