we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
