And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
