But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
