I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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