I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
