420 ftw
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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