I am in a vortex of obligation.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it glows. i had to have it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
