so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
