this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
