I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
