if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
one might say we're banned from that church
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
