i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
