Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
whose ass print is on the piano?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
