after a month anything with tits is on the radar
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
