So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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