just tell him i said nine months
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize