she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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