Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I will pee on everything he values.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
