Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize