I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
