well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
