just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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