Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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