at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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