there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
