he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
