dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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