I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
