Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
