He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
