toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
