I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
