Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
