and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
