i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize