Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
