Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
