It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
