What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
