Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Soap is not a condiment
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
