um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
