Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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