the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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