She's JV to your varsity
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
