Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
