Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
