the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
