We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
