i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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