Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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