Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Everclear isn't food dammit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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